Notes on Venus retrograde.
Venus retrogrades always hit me pretty hard. I’m not sure if it’s that way for everyone – I assume maybe not – but it is always that way for me.
It’s probably because Venus is quite strong in my chart, even though I think it’s one of my “weakest” planets. Sure, I’m a creative person in the artistic sense: I write music, poetry, fiction and love to paint, but I usually attribute all that to my 5th house Moon trine a Saturn in Scorpio.
Obviously, there’s more to Venus and there’s more Venus to me, too.
Venus is how we find pleasure. With Venus on my MC, Libra on my 8th house cusp and Taurus on my 3rd, I have the ability to find pleasure in my 5th house Moon’s need to express my pain (Saturn), to make it beautiful (8th Libra) for other people to see (Venus on MC). So, it is quite strong.
Venus retrogrades are super transformative for me. I learn a ton about myself. It’s a process of regurgitation and shame, and yeah, it can be painful.
And, the retrograde in Gemini, crossing my IC, is one of the most powerful for me. This one, squaring Neptune, is especially poignant. My Venus is at 20 Sagittarius. Lol.
Though the retrogrades of Venus bring up memories and past feelings that are often humbling, lonely, and incredibly haunting, I absolutely adore and respect the process. It’s been too important not to acknowledge that.
The fact that Venus always retrogrades in the same five areas of the sky, cycling through each area every eight years, it breeds themes that recur and build. It brings true and lasting healing if we are open to receive it. Venus backs up there because that is where we all need to revise. Revision implies something didn’t go according to plan. We wouldn’t return to things to re-work them if they’d worked the first time.
Keeping this perspective of Venus retrograde is one of the greatest acts of self-love anyone can do.
Being about love and pleasure, can’t it simply be said that the retrogrades are rewinds about love? Isn’t that why our ex’s often return for a final say? Isn’t there pain in relationships gone sour? I don’t know about anyone else – I am speaking for myself here – but Venus retrogrades always make me think about what went wrong in my past escapades with lovers.
And, if I’m being completely thorough, Venus retrogrades often make me think about old friendships as well. Especially now, with this coronavirus crisis, I keep thinking about all the people I’ve known my whole life who I don’t talk to anymore, wondering if they’re okay. Wondering if I’d done enough for them. Wondering if they left me stronger than they’d found me.
Wounds that I thought had healed pop open into my brain about all sorts of close relationships. Usually, the wounds are mostly healed, but something about them stings again. Like taking the bandaid off and there’s a little spot of blood.
Sure, it could be these retrogrades are so powerful for me because Venus rules my 8th house. But it’s good to know which houses Venus rules for you and to recognize what that means for you in particular. It shows how we ruminate and heal past relationships. It could be where some of your deepest healing potential is. Don’t dread it. Don’t despair. Don’t call your ex (unless you truly feel you need to). Don’t worry about any of that.
Fuck all that.
Just breathe. Sit outside after sunset. Watch as Venus shines in the infinite twilight depth, stopping on her path forward, looking back over her shoulder, realizing she wants to chase the Sun after all of that running away.
